I was off in La - La land when the bell rang. No not the recess bell in school, although that's where I may have been, mindfully anyway. The bell rings at dusk at the factory where I work. Finally time to go home. Long steady days or nights on the belt can turn your thoughts into dreams. You are standing there sorting one never ending variety of fruit rolling past in groups spread accross the eighteen inch or two foot wide belt, while your eyes move up and down and back and forth rapidly trying not to miss any rotten or bad fruit. You must grab the rotten or bad fruit and get it off the belt before it passes you and goes into the stew pot for canning. Towards the end of the day you can litterally go into an out of body state of mind and be flying around somewhere in your thoughts when the bell rings for a break or to go home. You take a slow step back as you are in a daze before moving on down off the the platform for fear of falling flat on your noggin and never comming out of La-La land. At four hour intervals, later changed to two hour and fifteen minute intervals before stopping it's a walk in the park compared to how long the women had to work during the era of WWII. They worked up to 16 hour days with pay of about one dollar and twenty cents a week so we have come a really long way.
Note: This writing lesson, (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain", "the bell rings", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Fading Image
The constant noise of the heavy traffic outside my window does not diminish the silence of a candle burning, flickering off the walls of the candle lit room where I sit and write.
Walls filled with dancing shadows of various sizes and shapes reflected from the contents of the room.
Moving shadows circling the room resembling a crowd of people, watching, waiting, for the next event.
A candle created with caring hands using evenly cut pieces of bamboo standing tall against one another to form a perfect circle.
Then drenched in white wax covering the tops of the bamboo and appearing to have run over the edges ever so neatly.
The flame is getting smaller as the wick slowly saturates with melted candle wax and the sweet aroma of honeysuckle becomes more faint as the flame disappears into the darkness.
Walls filled with dancing shadows of various sizes and shapes reflected from the contents of the room.
Moving shadows circling the room resembling a crowd of people, watching, waiting, for the next event.
A candle created with caring hands using evenly cut pieces of bamboo standing tall against one another to form a perfect circle.
Then drenched in white wax covering the tops of the bamboo and appearing to have run over the edges ever so neatly.
The flame is getting smaller as the wick slowly saturates with melted candle wax and the sweet aroma of honeysuckle becomes more faint as the flame disappears into the darkness.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
What is Love?
I went to a class recently and this was the question to be discussed. I'm not really one to talk a lot until I get to know people, but it was a good class and the people were really nice. I just wasn't ready to divulge and there were some other classes I wanted to check out, so I have decided to write what love is to me ..................
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel happy, silly, carefree, beautiful........
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel healthy, energetic, ready to do anything.......
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel creative, decorate, paint, garden...............
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel giving, It makes us feel full of life!
Love is a feeling one gets when someone loves them and or when you love someone. Most of us have felt love I think and know that you can truely feel love at all times when it's real and you know someone loves you because that person makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you're perturbed at each other for some silly reason, you still know and feel you are loved and you feel love for them. If you can't feel it at all times with this person or If this person makes you feel bad about yourself or like there is something wrong with you, or you can't do anything right, or nothing you do pleases them, then......................... you are with the wrong person, because that's not love.
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel happy, silly, carefree, beautiful........
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel healthy, energetic, ready to do anything.......
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel creative, decorate, paint, garden...............
Love is a feeling.....................It makes us feel giving, It makes us feel full of life!
Love is a feeling one gets when someone loves them and or when you love someone. Most of us have felt love I think and know that you can truely feel love at all times when it's real and you know someone loves you because that person makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you're perturbed at each other for some silly reason, you still know and feel you are loved and you feel love for them. If you can't feel it at all times with this person or If this person makes you feel bad about yourself or like there is something wrong with you, or you can't do anything right, or nothing you do pleases them, then......................... you are with the wrong person, because that's not love.
The Jungle - Writing Lesson # 2
Is to make Ec-Dys-I-Ast a real word with a definition. I'm to start out with: it all started when...... my sweet friend Ralph asked me to go to a drum circle at what turned out to be a really cool resort. It was ecdysiast! (pronounced eekDIZeeAST meaning fantabulous! The resort and the people were beautiful, peaceful, clean and out in the country. The drum circle was spectacular! My friend was very enjoyable and really good company. I for one can hardly wait to return. The only thing I didn't like was we had to leave too soon. We took our time returning by stopping here and there with yet another thrilling adventure. We stopped at this botanical garden which is a beautiful serene place full of color and nature. We were having so much fun running around taking pictures and enjoying everything around us and each other's company that we lost track of time and ended up getting locked in. Trapped in a garden of beauty! With someone who's company you actually enjoy! Only something most dream of. There was a vegetable garden with luscious purple egg plants, beautiful green and yellow okra, varieties of squash and other garden vegetables. An herb garden with fresh green succulent garlic plants, the fresh sweet smell of rosemary, basil, mints, stevia and much more along with many beautiful trees including fruit trees of mango and fruits I have never heard of as well as many flowers and other plants. Ponds of water winding through here and there filled with lovely rich green lily pods and huge white flowers. Breath taking scenes of little bridges, some with cute old fashioned looking benches set under the trees and above the brook. Even a maze to get lost in, created with hedges. We had to duck huge fat spiders clustered here and there in large webs spun from tree to tree and hedge to hedge a lot but even that was fun and made us giggle. It was Vundabar! We goofed around like children playing, laughing and being silly. We toyed with the idea of spending the night and how we would survive with no bathroom or food. Not that we would starve to death in one night without food. The bathroom could have been a problem with it being a public place, though we were out of sight. We had shelter from the weather with plenty of trees. The sprinklers surprised us when they came on while we were wondering about but we ran through them to cool off giggling like children again. Then we decided to go hunt for food when we saw a jogger run by which made us become paranoid that we would get into trouble for trespassing. We walked the fence a time or two seeking an unfound escape route then we decided it was best if we called someone to help us escape our entrapment in this heavenly garden of Eden, not that we wanted to, or at least I didn't. My sweet Ralph made several calls and alas after a few very enjoyable hours we were freed to go back to the reality of every day life in .............................the other jungle.
Note: This writing lesson, "A perfect adventure" (but not the contents of the story) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Note: This writing lesson, "A perfect adventure" (but not the contents of the story) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Turn off the lights and write "I don't see why we need............Writing lesson
I don't see why we need so much light anyway. I can write in the dark if I have to. Blind people do it. Just look away from your paper or close your eyes and see how it goes. It may turn out crooked but so what? Use a ruler to stay straight or your arm. I just closed my eyes and used my arm. You may be able to think better without light. You have heard the phrase "the lights are on but no body's home?" Trying to see if my thoughts are stronger and longer. It seems like sometimes I can write nonstop once I start a subject but not always. I can't write as fast as the words are popping into my head. That's when a computer comes in handy except I really think a person needs to really feel the writing and to actually write to remember what you write. Could be wrong though. Been wrong before. Once. Ha! I'm not going to remember what I wrote here. Can't read my hand writing sometimes either when I write so fast. Most of the time what I write on the computer turns out o-k I think. It's just that I get distracted a lot writing out in public because of noise or constant passerbyer's. Once I loose a train of thought when writing, it's just gone. End of story. Can't get it back. A thought that was blazing like a wildfire. I'm writing so fast this new ink pen is skipping. The ink can't keep up. That's blazing a story. This book I'm using for writing lessons "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer is exceptional. Of course some lessons I can't even get started with so I just go on to another until I find one I can blaze with. Pretty sloppy with my eyes closed. I stopped writing with my eyes closed before I finished the first page. Writing so fast some of the letters in some words are out of order. Not suppose to stop and correct but I have done so several times in this lesson. You are just suppose to write, write, write until the well of thought runs dry, or until you are interrupted or distracted and the train of thought comes to a halt. The End. Could go on with this one but don't think it's anything anyone will be interested in reading. It's rather boring even to the writer...........
Note: This writing lesson, "turn off the lights and write" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Note: This writing lesson, "turn off the lights and write" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Penciling me in - Writing Lesson - Uses of a pencil
Whenever I am asked to draw a picture I like to use a good drawing pencil. Often I use the same drawing pencil to color the drawing. A lot of people use a pencil to write but I don't because it moves too slowly for me. An ink pen moves faster and it is even too slow to keep up with my thoughts sometimes and words and even sentences in my mind get left out, leaving areas of my writing not making sense. You could use a pencil for games too, like pick up sticks or building a log cabin. Course you would have to chop the pencils up and that would be a waste so better if you go outside and find a stick or small dead tree limb. Sometimes I find myself useing a a pencil for a finger baton. I also use pencils for book markers and every so often to keep my ear away from my head by sticking it on my ear so I don't lose it. I lose a lot of pencils and pens by keeping them in my hand when I go to get something, then lay them down somewhere along the way to and fro. Most often I cannot figure out where I laid them until later when I clean house. Then it's like hitting the jackpot when I find so many pencils. Last but not least they're usually not too bad to chew on. Just remember they are not a lollypog with a gob of chocolate in the center.
Note: This writing lesson (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" "Pencil Me In", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Note: This writing lesson (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" "Pencil Me In", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Scarf - Writing Lesson - Write four textures
My son bought me a beautiful scarf for my birthday years ago. I still have it and I love it! A colorful scarf with a square design and frill hanging all around. It feels silky soft and I like to wear it with a coat just draped around behind the collar and hanging down the sides in front as it is fairly long. I can actually wear it with several different garments because of the colors of blue, green, yellow and red. Sometimes I wear it with a a blouse or dress wrapped around my neck in different ways. I even wear it as a belt with some dresses. This scarf is almost big enough to wear as a blouse, a summer blouse I mean if you wrap it a certain way, but not quite. Well it might be now since I'm at the weight I was as a teenager. I think it is a mixture of cotton, maybe spiced up with some rayon. Not sure but it is as soft as velvet and really pretty. Sometimes I wear scarves tied around my neck wet on a hot day if I'm out and about but this one is too long and the material would be too hot. I have really gotten a lot of use out of it for years and will be able to use it for years to come. Then if it gets faded or worn looking I can still use it as a cloth cover for a small table. I'm a real recycler. There are many ways to recycle it if I want to but If it becomes too frail I'll probably put it away as a keepsake. It doesn't take up too much space.
Note: This writing lesson, "write four textures" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Note: This writing lesson, "write four textures" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Eclipse - Pick from a list of words - Writing Lesson
The light was fading slowly as the moon crossed paths with the sun and darkness wrapped itself around the crowd like a soft warm blanket. It was so quiet you could hear a needle drop as the crowd looked up at the Solar Eclipse which only happens during a new moon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse
We hurried through the forest on our way back to the bungalow as day light became dusk. Already the many large birds of the forest had called it a day and were perched on their favorite branch of their favorite tree.
Off in a gully nearby we could see a circle of something as white as chalk and had to get closer to see what it was. It was a circle of beautiful white perfectly round fresh mushrooms with colorful butterflies dancing around inside the circle. There was something mystical about the circle filled with butterflies. What does it mean I thought? As a nutritionalist I wondered what potion could be made with these chalky white rubber looking mushrooms? We took another look at the circle, then at each other, smiled, and stepped inside the circle to dance around and round as if we had become two of the graceful butterflies. Alas we had to leave the mystical beauty of the circle of butterflies as we could feel the shift in temperature while night settled in and the cold started to surround us. Harry grabbed my hand and we continued our journey back to the bungalow before it became to cold.
Note: This writing lesson, "pick from a list of words" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
We hurried through the forest on our way back to the bungalow as day light became dusk. Already the many large birds of the forest had called it a day and were perched on their favorite branch of their favorite tree.
Off in a gully nearby we could see a circle of something as white as chalk and had to get closer to see what it was. It was a circle of beautiful white perfectly round fresh mushrooms with colorful butterflies dancing around inside the circle. There was something mystical about the circle filled with butterflies. What does it mean I thought? As a nutritionalist I wondered what potion could be made with these chalky white rubber looking mushrooms? We took another look at the circle, then at each other, smiled, and stepped inside the circle to dance around and round as if we had become two of the graceful butterflies. Alas we had to leave the mystical beauty of the circle of butterflies as we could feel the shift in temperature while night settled in and the cold started to surround us. Harry grabbed my hand and we continued our journey back to the bungalow before it became to cold.
Note: This writing lesson, "pick from a list of words" (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Break Out - Writing Lesson # 3
A Break out is what I heard when I woke this morning, all over the radio and television news. NC about 30 minutes from Tennessee was a break out from one of the largest mental institutions in the United States. Which way did they go? Scattered all across the U.S.? Days later some tenants are still loose according to the local newspaper.
I had just climbed out of my RV and was walking toward the door of the building where I work when he approached asking questions boom! boom! boom! One right after another about my RV. What year, what model, how many miles? I'm thinking, take a breath! Jeez! He looked like a hippie with long dirty blonde hair who hadn't shaved in days. A crumpled Tye-died t-shirt with small holes around the neck and navy blue khaki type pants rolled up at the cuffs and looked too big for him. He continued walking with me and talking as if we were best buddies all the way into the building until finally I excused myself near the the restroom even though I didn't need to go in. Didn't know if I wanted to be seen with this guy. I didn't know him from Adam. Once I settled at my post he continued to wave...... just one little finger..... each time he walked by, and smiled a sweet smile each time he caught my eye. He is cute I thought to myself and he seems to be interested in me but he became so friendly so fast I really had to wonder about him. Does he think he knows me from some where? Maybe he's just a friendly guy. Maybe he just needs a friend. Who knows? Maybe he is interested. I was really pretty busy working on my blogs trying to learn how to make money writing, since I write all the time anyway and there isn't much work these days. Too busy to get involved, and I always remember that sometimes the tables could turn quickly, as it does quite frequently. A man could go from being too nice to too mean, in a heart beat. Anyway when I get involved I get too side tracked and I really need to make some money. So many people looking for work right now. So many businesses closing. No one is sure about their future these days. I want to help my family so they don't have to struggle all their lives.
Cutie continued to pursue me by dropping by unannounced and uninvited one night a few days after we met. He slipped up from the back. Was he listening? Was he trying to see in? Why from the back? He knocked on the side or the window and called out my name. I directed him around to the driver's side and we talked with the window rolled down. I didn't let him in because I didn't know him. I told him I go to bed early after an hour so he left. Then he came by during daylight hours. He was always nice and a gentleman though uninvited. Then he started coming around at work during the day wanting to show me things, like play a song for me on his instrument. He plays a saxophone. That seemed really sweet and I haven't been serenaded for many years but I was still leery of what he really wanted because of past experiences. It made me uncomfortable being right outside of the building where I worked but I let him in while I had lunch because it was hot out and I didn't want bugs to get in with the window down. It felt good to be pursued again.
One day Jake, yea his name is Jake, brought me a fruit salad he made himself. He could be as sweet as the salad when he wanted to be. After that he continued to come out to visit me at work but not daily and most often in the afternoon or when I was ready to leave. Jake said he wrote a song for me and he played it. That was sweet too. There were no words though. He's pretty good really, with his saxophone. He has just moved back here from some where north where he was for a few years. He was in a place where a lot of hippies live he said. He moved and talked very slowly sometimes. I wondered if he was on something because he got so mellowed out that he was so incoherent I couldn't even understand what he was saying, but my hearing is not what it use to be either. After being around him a few hours daily for a week or so I thought he was on maybe an anti-depressant or something stronger along that line. I wondered if he had an anxiety disorder. I even hung up on him on July 4th because I thought he was plastered since he was so incoherent with it being a holiday and I didn't see him or hear from him until near the end of the day. I didn't get to know him that well because after that I didn't see him for several days. Then he came around in spurts. He would wave one little finger and smile his sweet little smile and come and talk to me for a few minutes. Even ask me to go some where but he didn't show up when he said he was going to two or three times so I thought he met someone and I lost interest. Once he called and said he was going to a party. Didn't ask me to go either so who would want to get involved with one like that? Then he started coming around often again. He would go to movies and tell me about it but not invite me. The one time he did invite me I ended up paying. One of my first thoughts of him was that he spends most of his time trying to pick up women and a lot of time in bed. That would make him not my type at all. He did not fit the profile of a "one woman man" at all but insisted he was. He kept coming around though even though I wasn't as nice as I could have been and I got to know him somewhat and he seemed to sincerely like me a lot. He was either sincere or a very good actor, and it turned out to be the latter.
All the signs were there that he was not and never could be "a one woman man," so I knew what I was getting into. Sometimes it seemed like he had about three different personalities. We went to a couple of jam sessions . No one showed up at the second one accept a couple of homeless people and one family who took a lot of pictures. We had the first blow out at the first jam session (open mike), right after a very thin woman with very short blonde hair and a dark haired lanky man sat down at a round table about a foot in front of us. He suddenly, out of the blue decided he needed to tell me what to do and how to do it in a very rude manner. It was quite shocking, the way he could turn so quickly. It was mister sweetness to mister a-hole in a matter of seconds, literally a Jekyll to Hide episode. I told him unless he wanted to pay my bills he had no right to tell me what to do or how to do it. He continued to press for an argument. It seemed like he picked the argument for show and tell immediately after the couple sat down in front of us. Then he shoved himself up from the table, left me sitting there alone around people I didn't know, but he did, and went over to talk to some gal. How rude. While I was waiting, waiting, waiting to go home, just like the cocktail waitress waited, waited and waited, for the money for his drink, I had water, I understood the look she had given him when we arrived. All evening she waited until time to close when she finally had to ask him to pay for his drink. I began to wonder if he invited me along just to pay his way. Meanwhile a guy up front helping break down the stage equipment started joking with me and he made me laugh out loud, which truly made my night. Not Jake's though, he pouted, I don't know why since he's the one who threw the fit and stammered away. After the place closed and they finally got him out, he stood outside behind his car and played a little tiny guitar for about an hour. I finally walked away and ignored him until he quit and decided to let me in the car so I could go home. We both chilled out on the ride back and became friends again but what a weird night to say the least. Only the first of only a few more weird nights with this very strange one.
Yea I decided to give the poor pathetic acting little guy another chance because he was so sweet (most of the time) and I really felt sorry for him. I cared about him too and we liked doing the same things. Plus he didn't smoke or drink. So I gave it another whack. He invited me to a resort to listen to a drumming session and I was eager to go because I love music and I wasn't getting out much. Even though I had a lucid dream the night before that was close to a nightmare and left me feeling fearful, I decided to go with him anyway. Oh boy! That was a mistake. A second burst of anger came out of him just like the first, out of the blue, without any warning, without any sane reason. I didn't like his spaghetti. That's what he lost his mind over, and I had brought food for both of us anyway, as instructed. I had no desire for spaghetti but he insisted I try it so I did, one bite. Then he asked if I liked it and when I said "not really", he turned from angel to devil that quickly and hatefulness rolled off his tongue like the chop of a meat cleaver. This one really made me uncomfortable because I didn't know where I was geographically and it was about a forty-five minute ride home. Again I was at his mercy to even get back, which he knew. I cannot explain how but we chilled out on the way back again. After that, in my mind, he was Mr, Smoothy. I was torn with my conclusions that he was really pathetic and really more of a professional con artist than I had ever seen, or there was a few pegs missing from the playing board. Thought I was pretty good at picking them out but no, he takes the cake. Yet I know we all have faults so again I let us get friendly for still another unexpected, unnecessary blowing of the fuses. I had just given him a birthday gift even though we had only known each other for maybe a month because he seemed to be obsessed for someone to show they care about him. This time we had just arrived at the beach when the explosion hit as quick as a puff of smoke after a gunshot. He was so persistent in getting personal information out of me. It was like his main goal. I told him I was too tired to talk. We both lost it and started bellowing for the public to see, which I got the feeling, was the plan, because it was just too frequent, and for really no good reasons. I had to walk away because I hate arguing and that was the third argument in a very short period of time. I was steaming, like a kettle boiling rapidly for too long on the burner with the lid jumping up and down. I had a lot better things to do than this crap. Luckily I knew where I was this time. That's another reason I wondered if these outbursts were planned, he always got me away some where so I was stuck with him, so he thought. It was close to a ten mile walk but I did it and wouldn't have gotten in the car with him if he was the last man on earth, even if he had gone by, which he didn't. He's brutal when he explodes. I decided he picks fights so he can go do something else without being honest about it. I had noticed a few times when he came to pick me up he appeared that he wasn't really where he wanted to be, so why was he there with me if he wanted to be some where else? Was he being coaxed? He was one strange dude. If you have seen "The Three Faces of Eve, you would know what I mean. Really, and his main concern was always that he is right and that he has done everything he can to be the perfect one in this thing, what ever it was, couldn't really call it a relationship. It was just too weird and the encounters were few and far between. Two days at most and he would start ragging and fall off the cliff of sanity. Every time he would repeat over and over like a broken record, that he only wanted to get along. Show and tell? For who?
The fourth explosion, was way too much. We had gone to a public event. He wanted to leave almost immediately, but I didn't. I wanted to meet people and socialize some but all he wanted to do was go. He didn't even want to take the time to tell the two friends he introduced me to, good bye. He just wanted to go. Later I wondered if he wanted to go before he was seen by, perhaps a certain woman? It wasn't that big of a deal to me so I relented and we left. He wanted to go to the beach but once we got there all he wanted to do was sit. I didn't feel like sitting so I wanted to go home. Like the snap of a whip his reaction was that of a snarling wolf ready to attack. I took in a quick breathe as I felt the pang of fear take hold of me and I moaned to my self, ohhh no, he's doing it again. I have to get away from him. He could be a killer, the way he steps off the edge for such silly things. I couldn't believe what he was bellowing. Out of his wide open mouth came words not even slightly associated with us or what we were doing or talking about. It was like he was some where else, with someone else. He yelled something about his ex-girlfriend a couple of times so I assumed he saw his ex-girlfriend at the event, and I knew he had been going snorkeling regurly with someone although he lied about it. I was too much in shock to even think of any kind of recourse. He was in another world. I had the feeling he had stepped back in time and really was somewhere else, with someone else, in a past experience. He was frightening! You have heard of "out on a limb?" That's how I felt, as if I was out on a rock or something, out in the middle of no where, alone. He was berserk! He continued bellowing insanely like a wild man. Again I was at his mercy with no other way to get home. I couldn't wait to get away from him. I actually covered my ears and kept my mouth shut the whole drive back while he bellowed things that didn't make any sense. I was literally afraid to say anything. That was really the last straw because I was afraid to go anywhere with him again. I just have one thing to say about the experiences with this man. No one, for any reason, or for any one, should ever put up with this kind of abuse.
What ever the relationship was it wasn't sealed, it was brief, it had a few fun moments and nothing bad happened. I'm leaving it at that. It took me a couple of months of ignoring him to get him to stop coming around but finally he has managed to pull the wool over another, and only comes by when they have a spat now, but I still ignore him and pray that he goes away quickly. Thank you who ever you are. I wish him nothing but good luck and happiness in his life as long as he stays away from me. He can be a really sweet and loving person when he's happy, secure and with someone he wants to be with........I think or I thought??
This really was a crazy scenario.................
My last thought.............................did they find all of the missing tenants from the break out????
Note: This writing lesson, "pick a crazy scenario" (but not the contents of the story) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain", by Bonnie Neubauer.
I had just climbed out of my RV and was walking toward the door of the building where I work when he approached asking questions boom! boom! boom! One right after another about my RV. What year, what model, how many miles? I'm thinking, take a breath! Jeez! He looked like a hippie with long dirty blonde hair who hadn't shaved in days. A crumpled Tye-died t-shirt with small holes around the neck and navy blue khaki type pants rolled up at the cuffs and looked too big for him. He continued walking with me and talking as if we were best buddies all the way into the building until finally I excused myself near the the restroom even though I didn't need to go in. Didn't know if I wanted to be seen with this guy. I didn't know him from Adam. Once I settled at my post he continued to wave...... just one little finger..... each time he walked by, and smiled a sweet smile each time he caught my eye. He is cute I thought to myself and he seems to be interested in me but he became so friendly so fast I really had to wonder about him. Does he think he knows me from some where? Maybe he's just a friendly guy. Maybe he just needs a friend. Who knows? Maybe he is interested. I was really pretty busy working on my blogs trying to learn how to make money writing, since I write all the time anyway and there isn't much work these days. Too busy to get involved, and I always remember that sometimes the tables could turn quickly, as it does quite frequently. A man could go from being too nice to too mean, in a heart beat. Anyway when I get involved I get too side tracked and I really need to make some money. So many people looking for work right now. So many businesses closing. No one is sure about their future these days. I want to help my family so they don't have to struggle all their lives.
Cutie continued to pursue me by dropping by unannounced and uninvited one night a few days after we met. He slipped up from the back. Was he listening? Was he trying to see in? Why from the back? He knocked on the side or the window and called out my name. I directed him around to the driver's side and we talked with the window rolled down. I didn't let him in because I didn't know him. I told him I go to bed early after an hour so he left. Then he came by during daylight hours. He was always nice and a gentleman though uninvited. Then he started coming around at work during the day wanting to show me things, like play a song for me on his instrument. He plays a saxophone. That seemed really sweet and I haven't been serenaded for many years but I was still leery of what he really wanted because of past experiences. It made me uncomfortable being right outside of the building where I worked but I let him in while I had lunch because it was hot out and I didn't want bugs to get in with the window down. It felt good to be pursued again.
One day Jake, yea his name is Jake, brought me a fruit salad he made himself. He could be as sweet as the salad when he wanted to be. After that he continued to come out to visit me at work but not daily and most often in the afternoon or when I was ready to leave. Jake said he wrote a song for me and he played it. That was sweet too. There were no words though. He's pretty good really, with his saxophone. He has just moved back here from some where north where he was for a few years. He was in a place where a lot of hippies live he said. He moved and talked very slowly sometimes. I wondered if he was on something because he got so mellowed out that he was so incoherent I couldn't even understand what he was saying, but my hearing is not what it use to be either. After being around him a few hours daily for a week or so I thought he was on maybe an anti-depressant or something stronger along that line. I wondered if he had an anxiety disorder. I even hung up on him on July 4th because I thought he was plastered since he was so incoherent with it being a holiday and I didn't see him or hear from him until near the end of the day. I didn't get to know him that well because after that I didn't see him for several days. Then he came around in spurts. He would wave one little finger and smile his sweet little smile and come and talk to me for a few minutes. Even ask me to go some where but he didn't show up when he said he was going to two or three times so I thought he met someone and I lost interest. Once he called and said he was going to a party. Didn't ask me to go either so who would want to get involved with one like that? Then he started coming around often again. He would go to movies and tell me about it but not invite me. The one time he did invite me I ended up paying. One of my first thoughts of him was that he spends most of his time trying to pick up women and a lot of time in bed. That would make him not my type at all. He did not fit the profile of a "one woman man" at all but insisted he was. He kept coming around though even though I wasn't as nice as I could have been and I got to know him somewhat and he seemed to sincerely like me a lot. He was either sincere or a very good actor, and it turned out to be the latter.
All the signs were there that he was not and never could be "a one woman man," so I knew what I was getting into. Sometimes it seemed like he had about three different personalities. We went to a couple of jam sessions . No one showed up at the second one accept a couple of homeless people and one family who took a lot of pictures. We had the first blow out at the first jam session (open mike), right after a very thin woman with very short blonde hair and a dark haired lanky man sat down at a round table about a foot in front of us. He suddenly, out of the blue decided he needed to tell me what to do and how to do it in a very rude manner. It was quite shocking, the way he could turn so quickly. It was mister sweetness to mister a-hole in a matter of seconds, literally a Jekyll to Hide episode. I told him unless he wanted to pay my bills he had no right to tell me what to do or how to do it. He continued to press for an argument. It seemed like he picked the argument for show and tell immediately after the couple sat down in front of us. Then he shoved himself up from the table, left me sitting there alone around people I didn't know, but he did, and went over to talk to some gal. How rude. While I was waiting, waiting, waiting to go home, just like the cocktail waitress waited, waited and waited, for the money for his drink, I had water, I understood the look she had given him when we arrived. All evening she waited until time to close when she finally had to ask him to pay for his drink. I began to wonder if he invited me along just to pay his way. Meanwhile a guy up front helping break down the stage equipment started joking with me and he made me laugh out loud, which truly made my night. Not Jake's though, he pouted, I don't know why since he's the one who threw the fit and stammered away. After the place closed and they finally got him out, he stood outside behind his car and played a little tiny guitar for about an hour. I finally walked away and ignored him until he quit and decided to let me in the car so I could go home. We both chilled out on the ride back and became friends again but what a weird night to say the least. Only the first of only a few more weird nights with this very strange one.
Yea I decided to give the poor pathetic acting little guy another chance because he was so sweet (most of the time) and I really felt sorry for him. I cared about him too and we liked doing the same things. Plus he didn't smoke or drink. So I gave it another whack. He invited me to a resort to listen to a drumming session and I was eager to go because I love music and I wasn't getting out much. Even though I had a lucid dream the night before that was close to a nightmare and left me feeling fearful, I decided to go with him anyway. Oh boy! That was a mistake. A second burst of anger came out of him just like the first, out of the blue, without any warning, without any sane reason. I didn't like his spaghetti. That's what he lost his mind over, and I had brought food for both of us anyway, as instructed. I had no desire for spaghetti but he insisted I try it so I did, one bite. Then he asked if I liked it and when I said "not really", he turned from angel to devil that quickly and hatefulness rolled off his tongue like the chop of a meat cleaver. This one really made me uncomfortable because I didn't know where I was geographically and it was about a forty-five minute ride home. Again I was at his mercy to even get back, which he knew. I cannot explain how but we chilled out on the way back again. After that, in my mind, he was Mr, Smoothy. I was torn with my conclusions that he was really pathetic and really more of a professional con artist than I had ever seen, or there was a few pegs missing from the playing board. Thought I was pretty good at picking them out but no, he takes the cake. Yet I know we all have faults so again I let us get friendly for still another unexpected, unnecessary blowing of the fuses. I had just given him a birthday gift even though we had only known each other for maybe a month because he seemed to be obsessed for someone to show they care about him. This time we had just arrived at the beach when the explosion hit as quick as a puff of smoke after a gunshot. He was so persistent in getting personal information out of me. It was like his main goal. I told him I was too tired to talk. We both lost it and started bellowing for the public to see, which I got the feeling, was the plan, because it was just too frequent, and for really no good reasons. I had to walk away because I hate arguing and that was the third argument in a very short period of time. I was steaming, like a kettle boiling rapidly for too long on the burner with the lid jumping up and down. I had a lot better things to do than this crap. Luckily I knew where I was this time. That's another reason I wondered if these outbursts were planned, he always got me away some where so I was stuck with him, so he thought. It was close to a ten mile walk but I did it and wouldn't have gotten in the car with him if he was the last man on earth, even if he had gone by, which he didn't. He's brutal when he explodes. I decided he picks fights so he can go do something else without being honest about it. I had noticed a few times when he came to pick me up he appeared that he wasn't really where he wanted to be, so why was he there with me if he wanted to be some where else? Was he being coaxed? He was one strange dude. If you have seen "The Three Faces of Eve, you would know what I mean. Really, and his main concern was always that he is right and that he has done everything he can to be the perfect one in this thing, what ever it was, couldn't really call it a relationship. It was just too weird and the encounters were few and far between. Two days at most and he would start ragging and fall off the cliff of sanity. Every time he would repeat over and over like a broken record, that he only wanted to get along. Show and tell? For who?
The fourth explosion, was way too much. We had gone to a public event. He wanted to leave almost immediately, but I didn't. I wanted to meet people and socialize some but all he wanted to do was go. He didn't even want to take the time to tell the two friends he introduced me to, good bye. He just wanted to go. Later I wondered if he wanted to go before he was seen by, perhaps a certain woman? It wasn't that big of a deal to me so I relented and we left. He wanted to go to the beach but once we got there all he wanted to do was sit. I didn't feel like sitting so I wanted to go home. Like the snap of a whip his reaction was that of a snarling wolf ready to attack. I took in a quick breathe as I felt the pang of fear take hold of me and I moaned to my self, ohhh no, he's doing it again. I have to get away from him. He could be a killer, the way he steps off the edge for such silly things. I couldn't believe what he was bellowing. Out of his wide open mouth came words not even slightly associated with us or what we were doing or talking about. It was like he was some where else, with someone else. He yelled something about his ex-girlfriend a couple of times so I assumed he saw his ex-girlfriend at the event, and I knew he had been going snorkeling regurly with someone although he lied about it. I was too much in shock to even think of any kind of recourse. He was in another world. I had the feeling he had stepped back in time and really was somewhere else, with someone else, in a past experience. He was frightening! You have heard of "out on a limb?" That's how I felt, as if I was out on a rock or something, out in the middle of no where, alone. He was berserk! He continued bellowing insanely like a wild man. Again I was at his mercy with no other way to get home. I couldn't wait to get away from him. I actually covered my ears and kept my mouth shut the whole drive back while he bellowed things that didn't make any sense. I was literally afraid to say anything. That was really the last straw because I was afraid to go anywhere with him again. I just have one thing to say about the experiences with this man. No one, for any reason, or for any one, should ever put up with this kind of abuse.
What ever the relationship was it wasn't sealed, it was brief, it had a few fun moments and nothing bad happened. I'm leaving it at that. It took me a couple of months of ignoring him to get him to stop coming around but finally he has managed to pull the wool over another, and only comes by when they have a spat now, but I still ignore him and pray that he goes away quickly. Thank you who ever you are. I wish him nothing but good luck and happiness in his life as long as he stays away from me. He can be a really sweet and loving person when he's happy, secure and with someone he wants to be with........I think or I thought??
This really was a crazy scenario.................
My last thought.............................did they find all of the missing tenants from the break out????
Note: This writing lesson, "pick a crazy scenario" (but not the contents of the story) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain", by Bonnie Neubauer.
Writing Lesson # 1 - Pick 3 Words From The List
The words I picked were: Gerbil, harried and Exorcist..................
Sometimes I feel just like a Gerbil must feel running round and round on his wheel until one day I saw this movie that had such very harried happenings that it freaked me out so bad I had to leave the lights on at night for at least a couple of weeks after watching - The Exorcist. It seriously threw me off the boring wheel and made me think about a lot of things that had never crossed my mind before. My thoughts were constantly on the evil depicted in the movie and I really began to wonder if this really could be for real. It was supposedly based on true events regarding a 12 year old boy although they used a girl in the movie. after that I started hearing and reading about actual events taking place just like in the movie where people were really possessed and had to have a real exorcism to free them from the demonic spirit. It really makes a person wonder. So maybe that movie is what made me become a spiritual and if so - thank you for opening my mind to spiritual feelings.
Well I'm freezing in here now so have to stop writing. Later I'll be too hot. Too bad because I was on a roll. Just went to writing the minute I picked out the 3 words and ran like a baby lamb running from it's first hair cut. Thought I was going to have trouble getting started but didn't. Timing must have been right to write.
Oh boy - what kind of Gerbil am I? Running freely without need of a wheel. Or am I? Because I can't seem to figure out how to write a book on my own. Does that mean still running round and round? Because none of the other options fit at all. I wish to put this on my blog right now but some smelly smoker sat right next to me and I cannot breathe until he leaves - anyway I need to go outside and thaw out, so will finish this and put this silly 1st lesson on my blog tomorrow.
This was fun. Can't wait for the next lesson. Wow! If I have this much luck on each lesson - I'll be a writer in no time. That's good because I'm not getting any younger........only had to write 1 page and I wrote 3.
O-k decided to go on to the next lesson - have to start out with New Year's Resolutions make me: think and try to pick something I know I can do even if that could be considered cheating. What ever - It works for me. If I remember when New Year is coming which I'm apt to miss it because I don't even celebrate it any more - for years now. I don't miss it a bit either because my party days are long over. Partied fairly hardy there for awhile in my 30's. Maybe too hardy. So I don't even party for my birthday or anyone else's any more. I try to avoid all party scenes at all costs. I just stay completely out of the groups who indulge. Been there, done that, want to do something fun now. Leaving me alone quite often but not under any influence at all. I'm sure there are quite a few people out there like me but as far as I know I haven't run across too many yet. I know there are many things better to do with my time outside. I love being outside running all over in nature and playing in the water. There are so many water sports I want to try yet.
I just kept going because obviously I was in the mood to write because words were coming so easily. the next lesson starts out as if you received a post card and has to start out - The post card arrived from a far, far away place. The post card arrived from a far, far away place - It was from my daughter. She is in Hawaii with a girlfriend. She misses us and wants to come home. I thought it was strange she missed us and wanted to come home. It was a beautiful sweet card. She brought us both a gift too. A beaded necklace for me, beautifully made with colored wooden beads. I just loved it. It broke my heart when it broke. I would have thought she would never want to come back from Hawaii but she missed her brother and I and wanted to come home. She was there a couple of weeks I guess. Don't really remember now. It was a long time ago - when she was still alive. I wish I had known then that her first sexual experience was a bad one because she had been raped. I didn't find out right away. I don't know when I found out, but later. Later she ran away and I didn't know what had happened to her to change her - turn her into a different person - but I didn't know her any more. She was hateful. It didn't happen in Hawaii. It happened right in our own neighborhood in the town we lived in, where she went to school for years . I wish I could send the creep that did that to her straight to hell. He should be tormented because he ruined her and caused her to torment herself. She lost respect for herself and went wild. Caught her drunk one night but couldn't tell if she was drunk or on drugs so called the girlfriend's mom and took her and her girlfriend to the hospital where we found out they had also smoked pot in Hawaii. She was just a mess after that creep did what he did to her. That's when she got involved again with the one who turned out to be her first husband who as it turned out had been a teenage alcoholic which I didn't find out for a few years later either.
Continued my writing with: take the next step - If flying around in an airplane instead of a gerbil's wheel and running freely without a wheel - I would be all over the place in all kinds of mischief. Running all over the house like a mouse looking for something - what? Just really inquisitive. What's that? What's that for? Like a kid in a new world. Going everywhere, trying to see what fits where and why.
But if I were flying in a an airplane instead of running round and round in a gerbil's wheel I would fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly............................that's it - blocked on this one.............
The perfect place to write for me would be in a secluded area, in the woods near a beach. Or on a beach near the mountains. I know the perfect place and I had the perfect oppertunity to make it my permanent home but interference stopped me cold - just interrupted - that's enough for now anyway.
Note: This writing lesson, "pick 3 words from the list", (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Sometimes I feel just like a Gerbil must feel running round and round on his wheel until one day I saw this movie that had such very harried happenings that it freaked me out so bad I had to leave the lights on at night for at least a couple of weeks after watching - The Exorcist. It seriously threw me off the boring wheel and made me think about a lot of things that had never crossed my mind before. My thoughts were constantly on the evil depicted in the movie and I really began to wonder if this really could be for real. It was supposedly based on true events regarding a 12 year old boy although they used a girl in the movie. after that I started hearing and reading about actual events taking place just like in the movie where people were really possessed and had to have a real exorcism to free them from the demonic spirit. It really makes a person wonder. So maybe that movie is what made me become a spiritual and if so - thank you for opening my mind to spiritual feelings.
Well I'm freezing in here now so have to stop writing. Later I'll be too hot. Too bad because I was on a roll. Just went to writing the minute I picked out the 3 words and ran like a baby lamb running from it's first hair cut. Thought I was going to have trouble getting started but didn't. Timing must have been right to write.
Oh boy - what kind of Gerbil am I? Running freely without need of a wheel. Or am I? Because I can't seem to figure out how to write a book on my own. Does that mean still running round and round? Because none of the other options fit at all. I wish to put this on my blog right now but some smelly smoker sat right next to me and I cannot breathe until he leaves - anyway I need to go outside and thaw out, so will finish this and put this silly 1st lesson on my blog tomorrow.
This was fun. Can't wait for the next lesson. Wow! If I have this much luck on each lesson - I'll be a writer in no time. That's good because I'm not getting any younger........only had to write 1 page and I wrote 3.
O-k decided to go on to the next lesson - have to start out with New Year's Resolutions make me: think and try to pick something I know I can do even if that could be considered cheating. What ever - It works for me. If I remember when New Year is coming which I'm apt to miss it because I don't even celebrate it any more - for years now. I don't miss it a bit either because my party days are long over. Partied fairly hardy there for awhile in my 30's. Maybe too hardy. So I don't even party for my birthday or anyone else's any more. I try to avoid all party scenes at all costs. I just stay completely out of the groups who indulge. Been there, done that, want to do something fun now. Leaving me alone quite often but not under any influence at all. I'm sure there are quite a few people out there like me but as far as I know I haven't run across too many yet. I know there are many things better to do with my time outside. I love being outside running all over in nature and playing in the water. There are so many water sports I want to try yet.
I just kept going because obviously I was in the mood to write because words were coming so easily. the next lesson starts out as if you received a post card and has to start out - The post card arrived from a far, far away place. The post card arrived from a far, far away place - It was from my daughter. She is in Hawaii with a girlfriend. She misses us and wants to come home. I thought it was strange she missed us and wanted to come home. It was a beautiful sweet card. She brought us both a gift too. A beaded necklace for me, beautifully made with colored wooden beads. I just loved it. It broke my heart when it broke. I would have thought she would never want to come back from Hawaii but she missed her brother and I and wanted to come home. She was there a couple of weeks I guess. Don't really remember now. It was a long time ago - when she was still alive. I wish I had known then that her first sexual experience was a bad one because she had been raped. I didn't find out right away. I don't know when I found out, but later. Later she ran away and I didn't know what had happened to her to change her - turn her into a different person - but I didn't know her any more. She was hateful. It didn't happen in Hawaii. It happened right in our own neighborhood in the town we lived in, where she went to school for years . I wish I could send the creep that did that to her straight to hell. He should be tormented because he ruined her and caused her to torment herself. She lost respect for herself and went wild. Caught her drunk one night but couldn't tell if she was drunk or on drugs so called the girlfriend's mom and took her and her girlfriend to the hospital where we found out they had also smoked pot in Hawaii. She was just a mess after that creep did what he did to her. That's when she got involved again with the one who turned out to be her first husband who as it turned out had been a teenage alcoholic which I didn't find out for a few years later either.
Continued my writing with: take the next step - If flying around in an airplane instead of a gerbil's wheel and running freely without a wheel - I would be all over the place in all kinds of mischief. Running all over the house like a mouse looking for something - what? Just really inquisitive. What's that? What's that for? Like a kid in a new world. Going everywhere, trying to see what fits where and why.
But if I were flying in a an airplane instead of running round and round in a gerbil's wheel I would fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly............................that's it - blocked on this one.............
The perfect place to write for me would be in a secluded area, in the woods near a beach. Or on a beach near the mountains. I know the perfect place and I had the perfect oppertunity to make it my permanent home but interference stopped me cold - just interrupted - that's enough for now anyway.
Note: This writing lesson, "pick 3 words from the list", (but not the contents) was taken from the book, "The Write Brain" by Bonnie Neubauer.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
honeybee57 - Welcome to My Thoughts: My ART - made from used wood and used styrofoam - yes I'm into recycling.
I Make art with used materials. I have other repurposed items also......like re-done doll furnature. I paint murals on walls, office or home. I paint on canvas also. I can paint you a picture of your pet. I paint from a photo.
I like to sew too. I come up with my own creations quite often. I'm not a master with a sewing machine because it's been few & far between but my imagination always brings new ideas that I can make.
I do research and write. I am into nutrition, nature, staying fit. I can help you loose weight naturally.
honeybee57
honeybee57 - Welcome to My Thoughts: My ART - made from used wood and used styrofoam - yes I'm into recycling.
I like to sew too. I come up with my own creations quite often. I'm not a master with a sewing machine because it's been few & far between but my imagination always brings new ideas that I can make.
I do research and write. I am into nutrition, nature, staying fit. I can help you loose weight naturally.
honeybee57
honeybee57 - Welcome to My Thoughts: My ART - made from used wood and used styrofoam - yes I'm into recycling.
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